Ten Laws
Question:
Instead <I need to be <aware that my life will need "managing" right the way <through? well, yeah…. it’s called takin charge, makin decisions, owning your choices, etc. i find that "curing" life is much more morbid than managing.. (but it’s tanya talkin’… so pay no attention)
You’re right. It’s no good to think of "curing" one’s life. I didn’t realise that I too found it morbid. I will try to remember this law. It really helps to learn realistic expectations. psssssssssst…. (yer managing yer life anyway… seein’ it in print is maybe just freakin ya out)
I don’t know whether I’m really managing my life. I’m panicking, going from crisis to crisis. I’m going to try to make the shift to "managing" it. and Jan? (boys are so easily trainab… ummm… i mean manageable… GO WITH IT, GURL !.. )
I’m a guy, I’m a guy. I’ve now put a "Mr" in my name so people can know that. You have no idea what you can reasonably expect from people? (expect nothing. leave room to be surprised)
How does this work in practice? Maybe you’re right. Do you have an example? I was going to comment some more on what you wrote but I’m getting confused now. Jan
Response:
It’s no good to think of "curing" one’s life. I didn’t realise that I too found it morbid
yeah.. curing suggests it’s diseased, huh? I don’t know whether I’m really managing my life. I’m panicking, going from crisis to crisis.
are we twins? I’m going to try to make the shift to "managing" it.
i talk tha talk.. but i can’t walk tha walk.. lemme know when ya figger it out, ok? I’m a guy, I’m a guy. I’ve now put a "Mr" in my name so people can know that.
OOOOOOOOOOOOPS ! sorry… (but you boys are all easy, yanno <wink) You have no idea what you can reasonably expect from people?
in some cases, it’s reasonable to expect to buy a pack’ah cigarettes for 4 bucks, hand em a 5 and getta dollar change…. i don’t think that’s whatchur askin tho… and if you choose to have expectations, i respect that. personally? my reasonable expectations of others and i do mean REASONABLE expectations.. have been shattered like broken glass. (expect nothing. leave room to be surprised)
it’s life, baby ! surprises are what dreams are made of. How does this work in practice? Maybe you’re right. Do you have an example?
ooooooooooooh, i have many. i’ll tell ya one that comes ta mind….. i owned 4 tattoo/piercing shops, (now i have one, i closed the others, and you’ll see why)… and i hired the most motivated, intellectual, charismatic, (i can’t say enuff about him) 19 year old i have ever met.. he ran, by the time he was 20… all of my shops, and a body jewelry mfg business… he lived in my house, we were best friends, he ran my business like a friggin well-oiled machine, and i don’t mean maybe. he was gorgeous, had massive piercings, a walking billboard. he had more charm than carter has little liver pills, he ran my life also, as i know my strength is knowing my weaknesses, and he flew with that. my weakness (well, one anyway) is i cannot lead. i cannot run my life. he ran it for me, i’m a master delegator, he took on that role. he did the set-up and filmed all my jerry springer commercials (no small task), he made it to and from each of my shops in 1/4 the time anyone else could, he was magnanimous. he pierced full-service within 3 weeks. (most take 6 months), he set up outside venues, promoted me like a big bitch, gave me all the glory,, the wind beneath my wings. my expectations of him were not only great, but always, without exception, fulfilled. we had a booth at Sturgis, we were packed, he knew to the penny how much money i could blow on my "flash" (tattoo designs by my fave artists) addiction, we were ready ta go… this is a 4 year stint with this young man. a genius in an industry that is discounted as the "underbelly of society", and rose so far above it… he could KISS DA SKY ! and Sturgis? HERE WE COME ! 4th year in a row.. had ta stop by his mom’s house ta get some paperwork. as fast as he was on his feet, as eager as he was, he was hesitant, in my mind. i went to the front door of his Mom’s house…. he had hung himself from a tree in his parent’s front yard. His name is Tim. i learned then… expectations never win, and it was a lesson for me to leave room to be surprised. I was going to comment some more on what you wrote but I’m getting confused now.
confusion is a feeling. go with it 
xoxoxoxo ~tanya (Hello, Nasty, where ya been?) Tim? RIP he so loved the Beastie Boys. (no accountin for bad taste in music. LOL)
Response:
Go ahead tanya and interfere….you’re makin me laugh that’s always a good NOT reloading (not yet anyway)
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <Interesting. That life is managed and not cured, what <does that imply? I <shouldn’t expect to one day have a care-free life c’rect me if i’m wrong, but doesn’t one always manage one’s life? if yer the manager, you call the shots, huh? call yer shots in the "care-free" zone. that’s MY personal goal. Instead <I need to be <aware that my life will need "managing" right the way <through? well, yeah…. it’s called takin charge, makin decisions, owning your choices, etc. i find that "curing" life is much more morbid than managing.. (but it’s tanya talkin’… so pay no attention) I will try to remember this law. It really helps to learn realistic expectations. psssssssssst…. (yer managing yer life anyway… seein’ it in print is maybe just freakin ya out) Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you. I STILL SAY THAT FRIGGIN DR. PHIL STOLE THAT FROM ME AND I’M CALLIN MUH LAWYER ! let HIM manage that’n. HMMPH ! and Jan? (boys are so easily trainab… ummm… i mean manageable… GO WITH IT, GURL !.. ) You have no idea what you can reasonably expect from people? (expect nothing. leave room to be surprised) Your personal space respected people in california totally respect personal space. they stand so far apart in the grocery line, i cut in and wasn’t aware. .Value for value relationships with other adults (you GET based on what you GIVE and vice versa). translation: you teach people how to treat you.. (FUCK YOU, DR. PHIL.. SEE’F I WRITE YOU A LETTER A WEEK EVER AGIN !) When someone is not being civil to you, walking away is how you teach them that they need to be. translation: (take away their game) Yes, this is strange territory for me. And yes I will ask my therapist about this. I suppose it’s something about being assertive. I don’t know how to assert my needs, I feel guilty when I do. please note the difference in agression and assertion. i think, actually, you know more than you know you know. <Forgiveness isn’t easy. And I have NO idea how to do it (reload) cha-ching ! 2) forgiving someone does not mean you are saying it’s "ok that they did whatever they did", it’s more like "what you did was wrong, and I’m taking charge of my response to it by forgiving you" – it’s taking back your power (you ain’t met my stepmother) but yer right, totally right, and sometimes forgiveness is an elusive target. try as one might. 3) we often don’t want to forgive people because we have a certain inherent sense of "justice", and that if we let it go, we are "letting them off the hook", but in our focus on all that, we fail to see that in reality the forgiveness process takes US "off the hook", by allowing us to move ahead with our lives. ::reloadin:: We are no longer mired down in the rage and hatred/venom/other soul toxins… Life is short, why spend it there (mired down in hate/rage) ? cuz sum people just need killin. it’s just illegal ta do it. wait.. you ain’t talkin ta me.. WHY DO I KEEP INTERFERIN WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S POSTS? ::shuttin up:: ~tanya
Response:
<Interesting. That life is managed and not cured, what <does that imply? I <shouldn’t expect to one day have a care-free life
c’rect me if i’m wrong, but doesn’t one always manage one’s life? if yer the manager, you call the shots, huh? call yer shots in the "care-free" zone. that’s MY personal goal. Instead <I need to be <aware that my life will need "managing" right the way <through?
well, yeah…. it’s called takin charge, makin decisions, owning your choices, etc. i find that "curing" life is much more morbid than managing.. (but it’s tanya talkin’… so pay no attention) I will try to remember this law. It really helps to learn realistic expectations.
psssssssssst…. (yer managing yer life anyway… seein’ it in print is maybe just freakin ya out) Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you.
I STILL SAY THAT FRIGGIN DR. PHIL STOLE THAT FROM ME AND I’M CALLIN MUH LAWYER ! let HIM manage that’n. HMMPH ! and Jan? (boys are so easily trainab… ummm… i mean manageable… GO WITH IT, GURL !.. ) You have no idea what you can reasonably expect from people?
(expect nothing. leave room to be surprised) Your personal space respected
people in california totally respect personal space. they stand so far apart in the grocery line, i cut in and wasn’t aware. .Value for value relationships with other adults (you GET based on what you GIVE and vice versa).
translation: you teach people how to treat you.. (FUCK YOU, DR. PHIL.. SEE’F I WRITE YOU A LETTER A WEEK EVER AGIN !) When someone is not being civil to you, walking away is how you teach them that they need to be.
translation: (take away their game) Yes, this is strange territory for me. And yes I will ask my therapist about this. I suppose it’s something about being assertive. I don’t know how to assert my needs, I feel guilty when I do.
please note the difference in agression and assertion. i think, actually, you know more than you know you know. <Forgiveness isn’t easy. And I have NO idea how to do it
(reload) cha-ching ! 2) forgiving someone does not mean you are saying it’s "ok that they did whatever they did", it’s more like "what you did was wrong, and I’m taking charge of my response to it by forgiving you" – it’s taking back your power
(you ain’t met my stepmother) but yer right, totally right, and sometimes forgiveness is an elusive target. try as one might. 3) we often don’t want to forgive people because we have a certain inherent sense of "justice", and that if we let it go, we are "letting them off the hook", but in our focus on all that, we fail to see that in reality the forgiveness process takes US "off the hook", by allowing us to move ahead with our lives.
::reloadin:: We are no longer mired down in the rage and hatred/venom/other soul toxins… Life is short, why spend it there (mired down in hate/rage) ?
cuz sum people just need killin. it’s just illegal ta do it. wait.. you ain’t talkin ta me.. WHY DO I KEEP INTERFERIN WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S POSTS? ::shuttin up:: ~tanya
Response:
Well then damn it what else do I gots to do to speed up the process?
don’t…. bogart… dat joint……(fer starters) I luv you no matter what you say cause I know you try your best and trying your best works better to show how honesty is a large part in becoming real and doing the right things.
(even if i am a big dumbass?) xoxoxoxoxo ! ~tanya
Response:
Steve: A couple quick thoughts- a) you do NOT want me to treat you like I treat my relatives, trust me on this one. Well Gary you have a point. Lets assume I m
<snip <double snip <triple snip <snippin most the whole essay <snippin da boy bondin Kindest Regards, Gary
(i just love a happy endin’) ::feelin just like i did when Pee Wee got his bike back:: <sniffle ~tanya
Response:
<Interesting. That life is managed and not cured, what <does that imply? I <shouldn’t expect to one day have a care-free life. Instead <I need to be <aware that my life will need "managing" right the way <through? Yes, Jan – that is exactly what it means. There is no "cure" to all difficulties or challenges in life, regardless of your age. I will try to remember this law. It really helps to learn realistic expectations. Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you. <I have no idea about this one You have NO idea about this? How long have you been in therapy? You have no idea what you can reasonably expect from people? Let me give you a little "starter pack" list: Courtesy (or at least civility, if they’re not capable of courtesy) Your personal space respected….Value for value relationships with other adults (you GET based on what you GIVE and vice versa). I highly recommend you talk with your therapist about this topic – it’s central to life. When someone is not being civil to you, walking away is how you teach them that they need to be….(just an example) This is not rocket science here. Yes, this is strange territory for me. And yes I will ask my therapist about this. I suppose it’s something about being assertive. I don’t know how to assert my needs, I feel guilty when I do. <Forgiveness isn’t easy. And I have NO idea how to do it Jan, what DO you and your therapist work on, I’m really curious now… I highly recommend bringing this topic up if you honestly have no idea how to forgive. Let me give you a couple of little thoughts I’ve had/learned over the years: 1) people’s actions may have hurt us, but they generally did not act with the primary intention of harming us, their agenda was based on their own mentality/agenda/needs. 2) forgiving someone does not mean you are saying it’s "ok that they did whatever they did", it’s more like "what you did was wrong, and I’m taking charge of my response to it by forgiving you" – it’s taking back your power over your own mind and what it thinks about… 3) we often don’t want to forgive people because we have a certain inherent sense of "justice", and that if we let it go, we are "letting them off the hook", but in our focus on all that, we fail to see that in reality the forgiveness process takes US "off the hook", by allowing us to move ahead with our lives. We are no longer mired down in the rage and hatred/venom/other soul toxins… Life is short, why spend it there (mired down in hate/rage) ? 4) You are correct in saying that forgiveness is not easy, and if you actually do know that, then I submit that you in fact DO know a little something about how to do it. I wonder too whether my therapist and I talk about the things I need to hear. The thing is though I can’t really place why I feel angry and resentful. I am angry towards life and being hit by illness – especially after having been a nice guy. I wish had all this suppressed rage towards my parents which has to come out and then I’d be ok but you know what, it’s not there. Maybe I’m angry towards myself, I don’t know. < Asking someone to forgive is like asking a blind person to see. That statement above is just patently false. A blind person is incapable of seeing, however we are quite capable of forgiving. It’s not worth any further discussion. Sure it’s worth discussing. My point was only that forgiveness doesn’t happen easily. I think it happens by itself – after some hard work on oneself…. Well, I don’t think I want to talk about this too much. It’ll be too much theory for me. "taking your turn" means stepping up to the plate, and asking life for what you want, "making it happen" etc… You want to live in the tropics (sort of) , so taking YOUR turn will start at the ticket counter. I agree with you on number 3, it’s not worded well really. I "think" he’s talking about people doing things that get them what they want / secondary gains (ask therapist about that one)… If your therapist doesn’t know what secondary gains are, get up and thank them, and politely leave. I’m sure I have a lot of secondary gains going on in my life. It’s probably very normal. I can forgive myself on that one I guess! regards, Jan PS. Only supportive, heartfelt replies please….
Response:
a) you do NOT want me to treat you like I treat my relatives, trust me on this one.
(me thinks Gary and me have da same relatives) b) I, like all people, am able to fall into the trap of pre-conception (although it’s usually based more on behavior, language use, type of dwelling…)
(translation: muh IT boy is a snob) Nonetheless, I am quite able to rise above those things
(but noble !) I don’t watch TV (except HBO on Sunday now & then)
(Real Sex is on HBO on Sunday) <gasp I never, EVER go to church
(i go just ta kneel) I’m not sure that I even WAS "taught" that much in school, although I’m sure the New York State Education Department would take issue with that.
note to self: never get in a triage room with a guy that has "Gary" on his name tag. (ditto)
omg, i loved that movie ! or the different rivers in the middle east (might actually need that one day)
(that would be the one in egypt.. <ahem) what would they have taught me about how to deal with, let’s say, you?
(did you sign up for "dealin with Steve 101"? cuz there WAS this cute guy in front of me…. and.. well… nevermind) I submit they taught me nothing about that and that I’ve had to grow and evolve as a person in the real world to learn how to do that.
whoooooooooooa.. and whadda mighty fine job yer doin there ! I disagree, quite plain and simply, with your statement – My standards ARE MOST DEFINITELY based on reality
(which, of course, BYTES!) , and if I even get an inkling of an idea that one of them isn’t, or is becoming a little tainted, I take a serious "sit-down" look at it.
(as long as it’s a sit-down look… and not a "talk"… NO THORZINE FER YOU! ) I also submit that you have a notable pattern of generalizing —
(is this the ASAP daily news? i’m da editor.. submit ta ME !) "who WE do what to", "our standards" "people make decisions based on their own prejudiced experiences".
(that’s called ‘integrity’) That is not a put-down, it is an observation
(semantics) (which I’ve made quite a few times, btw).
Redundancy turns me ON ! Generalizing IS a form of prejudice
::invitin’ Gary ta rethink that’n:: (girls are generally female, fer instance) it saves people from having to really look at the whole span of something and instead just make a blanket statement.
(blanket statements save time .. like "THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE".. wouldn’t ya hate it if key-note speaker named names? i mean ALL OF EM? ) EG:
(i think he meant ie.) "All americans are biased by what they see on TV".
(i think that statement falls under the category of ‘preconception’)… but don’t mind meeeeeeeee Simple, saves me from having to think about the ones who don’t watch TV,
(i don’t watch tv, but wouldja mind thinkin of me anyway?… i mean.. WHADDA BOUT OUR LOVE CHILE ! ) the ones who discern carefully what they hear on TV
(silence….. i can discern that !) and the ones who just don’t believe a word of it
(i never really believed ole Jed was a millionaire.. he was runnin from da law!) because THAT would make it SO much harder for me to make whatever point I was trying to make, now wouldn’t it.
uhhhh…. yuh. Just some food for thought.
NOW YER TALKIN ! SQUASH CASSEROLE ON DA HOUSE ! Kindest Regards,
(chivalry makes me moist) Gary
(DAT BE MUH BABY DAD !!!!!!) (Gary’s gunna whup my fat ass… which makes me all the more happy !) ~(tanya) ack.
Response:
so you think the GOVERNMENT is the solution? On the one hand, you villify them for foreign policy blunders, corruption and ignorance or indifference, yet you would entrust the moral development of children to them? Ethics classes aren’t a horrible idea, but I really do think that sort of thing begins at home, and if it doesn’t (which it often doesn’t, I know this) the government is not the first place I’d be looking to find quality ethics. Just my opinion. Enjoy the day, Gary ps: Why do you concern yourself SO much with things you have absolutely no control over ?????? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Steve: A couple quick thoughts- a) you do NOT want me to treat you like I treat my relatives, trust me on this one. Well Gary you have a point. Lets assume I meant to say you treat people like you would want to be treated and hopefully that is based on nice values and promoting good things in life . As for generalizing , Gary I tried to give concrete examples. crime at home compared to terror abroad? Do we really promote right values when we virtually have an ongoing crime problem that is virtually un talked about in Presidental primaries but terror abroad is ? I think its a bit hypocritical to suggest to people that they take our form of government when we have thousands more dying here then there. another example I gave was our fight against pollution. If Bush says our air is getting better then I assume that means what he has done is play up to the people he holds worthy of advice , the energy companies. I state that the air is not getting better based on statistics others have given out. It depends on who you believe. Why not side with the kids with asthma? Fast drivers, credit cards companies charging more then bookmakers, competition from illegals and people suing each other in record numbers , one in four people getting treated for mental illness and six million in jails states its more then perceptions , this is reality. One way to change reality is to begin to teach an ethics class in our schools instead of naming the rivers in mideast. especially geared to kids who have little chance of getting the support or love they need from their parents. b) I, like all people, am able to fall into the trap of pre-conception (although it’s usually based more on behavior, language use, type of dwelling…) Nonetheless, I am quite able to rise above those things (primarily by being aware of them) and treat people in what *I consider* (I feel sure you’ll try to dissect that) to be a reasonable, moral and psychologically protective manner. I don’t watch TV (except HBO on Sunday now & then) (I dont own a TV, have to use someone else’s). I never, EVER go to church to hear all that noise and I’m not sure that I even WAS "taught" that much in school, although I’m sure the New York State Education Department would take issue with that. They were so busy teaching me about Amoeba livespan and structure (which I have never ONCE needed to know in 41 years) and how to solve quadratic equations(ditto), or the different rivers in the middle east (might actually need that one day) – what would they have taught me about how to deal with, let’s say, you? I submit they taught me nothing about that and that I’ve had to grow and evolve as a person in the real world to learn how to do that. I disagree, quite plain and simply, with your statement – My standards ARE MOST DEFINITELY based on reality, and if I even get an inkling of an idea that one of them isn’t, or is becoming a little tainted, I take a serious "sit-down" look at it. I also submit that you have a notable pattern of generalizing — "who WE do what to", "our standards" "people make decisions based on their own prejudiced experiences"… That is not a put-down, it is an observation (which I’ve made quite a few times, btw). Generalizing IS a form of prejudice – it saves people from having to really look at the whole span of something and instead just make a blanket statement. EG: "All americans are biased by what they see on TV". Simple, saves me from having to think about the ones who don’t watch TV, the ones who discern carefully what they hear on TV, and the ones who just don’t believe a word of it – because THAT would make it SO much harder for me to make whatever point I was trying to make, now wouldn’t it. Just some food for thought. Kindest Regards, Gary Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us that has been my motto for years. Dr. Phil is a THIEF ! …. and i’m glad to see you two are treating each other with the due respect everyone on this planet deserves. differences are to be cherished, cuz when ya delve deep… we’re all in this thing tagether. KUDOS ! I treat people with respect and I follow the laws, but I just want the world to do to me like they would do their relatives . IMPOSSIBLE though because our standards , who we do what to are based on preconceived perceptions ( race, height, sex, religion). That simple statement applies to rest of world also. Our standards are not based on reality its about who gets tv programming and who sees what tvnews producers want you to see and what your local preacher has told you last Sunday and what your taught in schools. If its not fair , or objective, your not going to treat people fair or objective. xoxoxxoxoxox ~tanya
Response:
No I don’t tell you to shddup STEVE ! good lord, i was jokin and don’t tell me you don’t know me well enuff ta know that ! i swear fore GAWD i’m comin ovah theah ! Well then damn it what else do I gots to do to speed up the process?
I luv you no matter what you say cause I know you try your best and trying your best works better to show how honesty is a large part in becoming real and doing the right things. steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I want this a better world. The world is bent because people can’t seem to do or try to do the right things. i gotcha sum suthern pecan pie ice cream… now THAT is right, dammit ! Two people hate what I say who? (i ain’t nosey or nuttin’) So bell I understand your upset with me and I pray you feel differently one day and are happy. oh fer tha luv’ah god… i ain’t upset with you one bit ! i was bein goofy ! i love whacha got ta say, Steve… i’m sorry you took me the way i didn’t intend. now kiss me , ya fool ! <puttinmuhredlipstickonferthis ~tanya
Response:
No I don’t tell you to shddup
STEVE ! good lord, i was jokin and don’t tell me you don’t know me well enuff ta know that ! i swear fore GAWD i’m comin ovah theah ! I want this a better world. The world is bent because people can’t seem to do or try to do the right things.
i gotcha sum suthern pecan pie ice cream… now THAT is right, dammit ! Two people hate what I say
who? (i ain’t nosey or nuttin’) So bell I understand your upset with me and I pray you feel differently one day and are happy.
oh fer tha luv’ah god… i ain’t upset with you one bit ! i was bein goofy ! i love whacha got ta say, Steve… i’m sorry you took me the way i didn’t intend. now kiss me , ya fool ! <puttinmuhredlipstickonferthis ~tanya
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us that has been my motto for years. Dr. Phil is a THIEF ! …. and i’m glad to see you two are treating each other with the due respect everyone on this planet deserves. differences are to be cherished, cuz when ya delve deep… we’re all in this thing tagether. KUDOS !
I treat people with respect and I follow the laws, but I just want the world to do to me like they would do their relatives . IMPOSSIBLE though because our standards , who we do what to are based on preconceived perceptions ( race, height, sex, religion). That simple statement applies to rest of world also. Our standards are not based on reality its about who gets tv programming and who sees what tvnews producers want you to see and what your local preacher has told you last Sunday and what your taught in schools. If its not fair , or objective, your not going to treat people fair or objective. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – xoxoxxoxoxox ~tanya
Response:
Steve: A couple quick thoughts- a) you do NOT want me to treat you like I treat my relatives, trust me on this one.
Well Gary you have a point. Lets assume I meant to say you treat people like you would want to be treated and hopefully that is based on nice values and promoting good things in life . As for generalizing , Gary I tried to give concrete examples. crime at home compared to terror abroad? Do we really promote right values when we virtually have an ongoing crime problem that is virtually un talked about in Presidental primaries but terror abroad is ? I think its a bit hypocritical to suggest to people that they take our form of government when we have thousands more dying here then there. another example I gave was our fight against pollution. If Bush says our air is getting better then I assume that means what he has done is play up to the people he holds worthy of advice , the energy companies. I state that the air is not getting better based on statistics others have given out. It depends on who you believe. Why not side with the kids with asthma? Fast drivers, credit cards companies charging more then bookmakers, competition from illegals and people suing each other in record numbers , one in four people getting treated for mental illness and six million in jails states its more then perceptions , this is reality. One way to change reality is to begin to teach an ethics class in our schools instead of naming the rivers in mideast. especially geared to kids who have little chance of getting the support or love they need from their parents. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – b) I, like all people, am able to fall into the trap of pre-conception (although it’s usually based more on behavior, language use, type of dwelling…) Nonetheless, I am quite able to rise above those things (primarily by being aware of them) and treat people in what *I consider* (I feel sure you’ll try to dissect that) to be a reasonable, moral and psychologically protective manner. I don’t watch TV (except HBO on Sunday now & then) (I dont own a TV, have to use someone else’s). I never, EVER go to church to hear all that noise and I’m not sure that I even WAS "taught" that much in school, although I’m sure the New York State Education Department would take issue with that. They were so busy teaching me about Amoeba livespan and structure (which I have never ONCE needed to know in 41 years) and how to solve quadratic equations(ditto), or the different rivers in the middle east (might actually need that one day) – what would they have taught me about how to deal with, let’s say, you? I submit they taught me nothing about that and that I’ve had to grow and evolve as a person in the real world to learn how to do that. I disagree, quite plain and simply, with your statement – My standards ARE MOST DEFINITELY based on reality, and if I even get an inkling of an idea that one of them isn’t, or is becoming a little tainted, I take a serious "sit-down" look at it. I also submit that you have a notable pattern of generalizing — "who WE do what to", "our standards" "people make decisions based on their own prejudiced experiences"… That is not a put-down, it is an observation (which I’ve made quite a few times, btw). Generalizing IS a form of prejudice – it saves people from having to really look at the whole span of something and instead just make a blanket statement. EG: "All americans are biased by what they see on TV". Simple, saves me from having to think about the ones who don’t watch TV, the ones who discern carefully what they hear on TV, and the ones who just don’t believe a word of it – because THAT would make it SO much harder for me to make whatever point I was trying to make, now wouldn’t it. Just some food for thought. Kindest Regards, Gary
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us that has been my motto for years. Dr. Phil is a THIEF ! …. and i’m glad to see you two are treating each other with the due respect everyone on this planet deserves. differences are to be cherished, cuz when ya delve deep… we’re all in this thing tagether. KUDOS ! I treat people with respect and I follow the laws, but I just want the world to do to me like they would do their relatives . IMPOSSIBLE though because our standards , who we do what to are based on preconceived perceptions ( race, height, sex, religion). That simple statement applies to rest of world also. Our standards are not based on reality its about who gets tv programming and who sees what tvnews producers want you to see and what your local preacher has told you last Sunday and what your taught in schools. If its not fair , or objective, your not going to treat people fair or objective. xoxoxxoxoxox ~tanya
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – , but I just want the world to do to me like they would do their relatives ummmmm… ya do? i was in the psych ward for quite some time for attempting homicide on one of my relatives…. (maybe that ain’t whatcha meant) IMPOSSIBLE though because our standards , who we do what to are based on preconceived perceptions ( race, height, sex, religion). That simple statement applies to rest of world also. Our standards are not based on reality its about who gets tv programming and who sees what tvnews producers want you to see and what your local preacher has told you last Sunday and what your taught in schools. If its not fair , or objective, your not going to treat people fair or objective. Steve? shaddup !
No I don’t tell you to shddup. I want this a better world. The world is bent because people can’t seem to do or try to do the right things. Every interest ( rich) has reasons to control the rest, not necessarily based on doing right things . Pollution is one such example. Fighting terror abroad without targeting crime and reasons for it at home. People act out and its often based on sterotypes we learn from school , religion and or tv. Everyone needs someone or something to blame . If you base life with nice perspective, you feel nice about yourself and you understand the connections that motivate . If you ignore all correlations and just accept everything as status quo nothing will change. The best changes I ever made was from becoming aware of the connections. Two people hate what I say. The people who we taught to hate or who act out and don’t want or need to see the connections , and the people who have learned to get along without doing so and I seem to threaten their existence . I realize lots of people just don’t care what I say. From stocks trading to people suing everyone to pollution , we must do the right things and understand how it affects the world. So bell I understand your upset with me and I pray you feel differently one day and are happy. Ier? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – xoxoxoxxoxo ~tanya
Response:
Steve: A couple quick thoughts- a) you do NOT want me to treat you like I treat my relatives, trust me on this one. b) I, like all people, am able to fall into the trap of pre-conception (although it’s usually based more on behavior, language use, type of dwelling…) Nonetheless, I am quite able to rise above those things (primarily by being aware of them) and treat people in what *I consider* (I feel sure you’ll try to dissect that) to be a reasonable, moral and psychologically protective manner. I don’t watch TV (except HBO on Sunday now & then) (I dont own a TV, have to use someone else’s). I never, EVER go to church to hear all that noise and I’m not sure that I even WAS "taught" that much in school, although I’m sure the New York State Education Department would take issue with that. They were so busy teaching me about Amoeba livespan and structure (which I have never ONCE needed to know in 41 years) and how to solve quadratic equations(ditto), or the different rivers in the middle east (might actually need that one day) – what would they have taught me about how to deal with, let’s say, you? I submit they taught me nothing about that and that I’ve had to grow and evolve as a person in the real world to learn how to do that. I disagree, quite plain and simply, with your statement – My standards ARE MOST DEFINITELY based on reality, and if I even get an inkling of an idea that one of them isn’t, or is becoming a little tainted, I take a serious "sit-down" look at it. I also submit that you have a notable pattern of generalizing — "who WE do what to", "our standards" "people make decisions based on their own prejudiced experiences"… That is not a put-down, it is an observation (which I’ve made quite a few times, btw). Generalizing IS a form of prejudice – it saves people from having to really look at the whole span of something and instead just make a blanket statement. EG: "All americans are biased by what they see on TV". Simple, saves me from having to think about the ones who don’t watch TV, the ones who discern carefully what they hear on TV, and the ones who just don’t believe a word of it – because THAT would make it SO much harder for me to make whatever point I was trying to make, now wouldn’t it. Just some food for thought. Kindest Regards, Gary – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us that has been my motto for years. Dr. Phil is a THIEF ! …. and i’m glad to see you two are treating each other with the due respect everyone on this planet deserves. differences are to be cherished, cuz when ya delve deep… we’re all in this thing tagether. KUDOS ! I treat people with respect and I follow the laws, but I just want the world to do to me like they would do their relatives . IMPOSSIBLE though because our standards , who we do what to are based on preconceived perceptions ( race, height, sex, religion). That simple statement applies to rest of world also. Our standards are not based on reality its about who gets tv programming and who sees what tvnews producers want you to see and what your local preacher has told you last Sunday and what your taught in schools. If its not fair , or objective, your not going to treat people fair or objective. xoxoxxoxoxox ~tanya
Response:
, but I just want the world to do to me like they would do their relatives
ummmmm… ya do? i was in the psych ward for quite some time for attempting homicide on one of my relatives…. (maybe that ain’t whatcha meant) IMPOSSIBLE though because our standards , who we do what to are based on preconceived perceptions ( race, height, sex, religion). That simple statement applies to rest of world also. Our standards are not based on reality its about who gets tv programming and who sees what tvnews producers want you to see and what your local preacher has told you last Sunday and what your taught in schools. If its not fair , or objective, your not going to treat people fair or objective.
Steve? shaddup ! xoxoxoxxoxo ~tanya
Response:
Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us
that has been my motto for years. Dr. Phil is a THIEF ! …. and i’m glad to see you two are treating each other with the due respect everyone on this planet deserves. differences are to be cherished, cuz when ya delve deep… we’re all in this thing tagether. KUDOS ! xoxoxxoxoxox ~tanya
Response:
I’m just glad you took the time and patience to read them Steve. I hope all the ventilating helped in some way. Kindest Regards, Gary Hi Gary, But of course
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This came from a pop-psych guy who I am not OVERLY fond of, however I do like the list, and thought I’d share it. Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t. Strategy: Become one of those who gets it. 1. sounds good but gets what? Is that like saying you either decide to live or die? Life Law #2: You create your own experience Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. 2.That also sounds good except if your brain is devoid of good serotonin or natural endorphin levels , you feel left out of the world, you were a victim of abuse or you experienced life altering experiences . Sure you can learn to get past it but if your suppose to just be responsible and your not sure how or what to change it will never happen successfully. Period.Psychology tests have shown some of what I just stated to be true Life Law #3: People do what works Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others. 3.Sometimes what works is doing what parents or street gang did and unfortunately what works doesn’t mean its a successful .People may get what they want by bullying or lying to others and they might be supported and it might work but it don’t mean its right. Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life AND everybody in it. 4. Well I think this is the fist life law I accept except even though for many people don’t have a clue what to acknowledge. Life Law #5: Life rewards action Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. 5.Life also penalizes action. If you have money to invest in stocks . pulling the trigger might make you broke. What quantitifies careful decisions if what someone does, circumstents all your decisions (bad ceos bad family or friends) So I am not sure of this either.. People make decisions based on their own prejudiced experiences. They may not know any better. Life in Us is not always about telling small people what to do, rather we are suppose to witness the freedom to make mistakes and be successful thru watching tv or reading papers. . We are somehow suppose to assume people who are not around success to make the right decisions and that simply might not happen. the rest later Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. 6. What happened to get real with your life number four? What filters are that? The glucose filters that make one want to eat and sleep instead of face reality? Or the reality filters. : people mean, stocks are fixed, if you want to exercise and the air is dirty? Many people are in act out mode,lying faster drivers, crime, mental illness, this is often hell on earth , top one percent getting more and more of nations wealth. Un rationalizes hate. Now do I need my optimistic filter? That filter says ignore the rest. I can do that for awhile also. 99 percent of the worlds problems are because people dont treat each other like they would want to be treated. So is reality perception or perception reality or is it amount of endorphins we have or don’t have., amounts of adrenlin we have or don’t have? Life Law #7: Life is managed, it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life AGREED I guess, no matter how, if your living and an adult you are taking charge. The only way your not taking charge is if your locked up or committed. OR your in DENIAL .. Hello? ? ? Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you. 8.To some extent I believe that. This gets back to perceptions. If you grew up with dysfunctional people you have to learn what to say to get by.You blow all caution to the wind , give up all your values just so you learn to react based on what someone wants and you move on. Complain and you might be in big trouble .So what is owning how to get people to treat us? Do you have to look like movie star? Or do you have to lock into their believe or value system? Or be good actors? Sometimes I do believe you have to evolve to where they are. This doesn’t mean this is good. This just means in order to survive learn to play the games people want played. If it was just about about reality or love and good values then we would have no need to teach people anything. Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Yep reality is bitch. Who do I forgive first? The drug pushers, the stock ceos and mms who take or took 10 trillion? , the muslims and Un that makes nazims presentable, the parents that are not there for their kids?, the criminals that make going out scary often enough, where you can’t leave your doors open or trust anyone? I am sorry , there ok? Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn. 10. there you go , I believe yo have to name it before you can claim it and therein lies the big percent of worlds problems, cause they are in denial. The problem we would havethough first , is to name 1000s of things we haven’t named , just before we had a chance to all decide to do the right things to correct them. This is, to be clear, copyrighted material written by Dr. Phil McGraw in a
Response:
Life Law #7: Life is managed, it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life
<Interesting. That life is managed and not cured, what <does that imply? I <shouldn’t expect to one day have a care-free life. Instead <I need to be <aware that my life will need "managing" right the way <through? Yes, Jan – that is exactly what it means. There is no "cure" to all difficulties or challenges in life, regardless of your age. Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you.
<I have no idea about this one You have NO idea about this? How long have you been in therapy? You have no idea what you can reasonably expect from people? Let me give you a little "starter pack" list: Courtesy (or at least civility, if they’re not capable of courtesy) Your personal space respected….Value for value relationships with other adults (you GET based on what you GIVE and vice versa). I highly recommend you talk with your therapist about this topic – it’s central to life. When someone is not being civil to you, walking away is how you teach them that they need to be….(just an example) This is not rocket science here. <Forgiveness isn’t easy. And I have NO idea how to do it Jan, what DO you and your therapist work on, I’m really curious now… I highly recommend bringing this topic up if you honestly have no idea how to forgive. Let me give you a couple of little thoughts I’ve had/learned over the years: 1) people’s actions may have hurt us, but they generally did not act with the primary intention of harming us, their agenda was based on their own mentality/agenda/needs. 2) forgiving someone does not mean you are saying it’s "ok that they did whatever they did", it’s more like "what you did was wrong, and I’m taking charge of my response to it by forgiving you" – it’s taking back your power over your own mind and what it thinks about… 3) we often don’t want to forgive people because we have a certain inherent sense of "justice", and that if we let it go, we are "letting them off the hook", but in our focus on all that, we fail to see that in reality the forgiveness process takes US "off the hook", by allowing us to move ahead with our lives. We are no longer mired down in the rage and hatred/venom/other soul toxins… Life is short, why spend it there (mired down in hate/rage) ? 4) You are correct in saying that forgiveness is not easy, and if you actually do know that, then I submit that you in fact DO know a little something about how to do it. < Asking someone to forgive is like asking a blind person to see. That statement above is just patently false. A blind person is incapable of seeing, however we are quite capable of forgiving. It’s not worth any further discussion. "taking your turn" means stepping up to the plate, and asking life for what you want, "making it happen" etc… You want to live in the tropics (sort of) , so taking YOUR turn will start at the ticket counter. I agree with you on number 3, it’s not worded well really. I "think" he’s talking about people doing things that get them what they want / secondary gains (ask therapist about that one)… If your therapist doesn’t know what secondary gains are, get up and thank them, and politely leave. Enjoy your day, Gary
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This came from a pop-psych guy who I am not OVERLY fond of, however I do like the list, and thought I’d share it. I’m not so sure about these formulas that these gurus and whatnots come up with. I suppose we just have to pick and choose what works for us. Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t. Strategy: Become one of those who gets it. What does this mean exactly? How does one become one who gets it? Isn’t that what we’re all trying to do with varying degrees of success? Life Law #2: You create your own experience Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. I agree with this one. And I admit I have an issue with taking responsibility. Life Law #3: People do what works Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others. Yes, we should do what works. That’s the only measure of anything I suppose. Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life AND everybody in it. Again, the responsibility thing. Life Law #5: Life rewards action Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. Umm, this is a difficult one for me personally. I’m afraid of doing things for fear of things not working out. Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. Is this really true? That there is no reality, only perception? This seems like a really serious metaphysical topic. This is no easy topic to discuss. Life Law #7: Life is managed, it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life Interesting. That life is managed and not cured, what does that imply? I shouldn’t expect to one day have a care-free life. Instead I need to be aware that my life will need "managing" right the way through? Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you. I have no idea about this one. I don’t know what I reasonably can expect from people. And I certainly don’t know what I’m going to teach them. Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Forgiveness isn’t easy. And I have NO idea how to do it. Asking someone to forgive is like asking a blind person to see. I can see my anger and resentment are hurting me but I can’t just turn it off. Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn. Yes, getting clear about things is important. Kinda difficult though when one’s in continuous anxiety. What does he mean by "taking your turn"? This is, to be clear, copyrighted material written by Dr. Phil McGraw in a book which I don’t even remember the name of. I do remember that this list impressed me more than any of the rest of the book. I’m a little skeptical of law #3, only because I bear witness (so often) to people doing what doesn’t work…however he was probably trying to make a point about secondary gains or something. Number 4, 7 and 9 are my personal favorites. I like 2,4,7 and 9. I don’t understand 3 so well. Jan
Response:
I’m just glad you took the time and patience to read them Steve. I hope all the ventilating helped in some way. Kindest Regards, Gary – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This came from a pop-psych guy who I am not OVERLY fond of, however I do like the list, and thought I’d share it. Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t. Strategy: Become one of those who gets it. 1. sounds good but gets what? Is that like saying you either decide to live or die? Life Law #2: You create your own experience Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. 2.That also sounds good except if your brain is devoid of good serotonin or natural endorphin levels , you feel left out of the world, you were a victim of abuse or you experienced life altering experiences . Sure you can learn to get past it but if your suppose to just be responsible and your not sure how or what to change it will never happen successfully. Period.Psychology tests have shown some of what I just stated to be true Life Law #3: People do what works Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others. 3.Sometimes what works is doing what parents or street gang did and unfortunately what works doesn’t mean its a successful .People may get what they want by bullying or lying to others and they might be supported and it might work but it don’t mean its right. Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life AND everybody in it. 4. Well I think this is the fist life law I accept except even though for many people don’t have a clue what to acknowledge. Life Law #5: Life rewards action Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. 5.Life also penalizes action. If you have money to invest in stocks . pulling the trigger might make you broke. What quantitifies careful decisions if what someone does, circumstents all your decisions (bad ceos bad family or friends) So I am not sure of this either.. People make decisions based on their own prejudiced experiences. They may not know any better. Life in Us is not always about telling small people what to do, rather we are suppose to witness the freedom to make mistakes and be successful thru watching tv or reading papers. . We are somehow suppose to assume people who are not around success to make the right decisions and that simply might not happen. the rest later Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. 6. What happened to get real with your life number four? What filters are that? The glucose filters that make one want to eat and sleep instead of face reality? Or the reality filters. : people mean, stocks are fixed, if you want to exercise and the air is dirty? Many people are in act out mode,lying faster drivers, crime, mental illness, this is often hell on earth , top one percent getting more and more of nations wealth. Un rationalizes hate. Now do I need my optimistic filter? That filter says ignore the rest. I can do that for awhile also. 99 percent of the worlds problems are because people dont treat each other like they would want to be treated. So is reality perception or perception reality or is it amount of endorphins we have or don’t have., amounts of adrenlin we have or don’t have? Life Law #7: Life is managed, it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life AGREED I guess, no matter how, if your living and an adult you are taking charge. The only way your not taking charge is if your locked up or committed. OR your in DENIAL .. Hello? ? ? Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you. 8.To some extent I believe that. This gets back to perceptions. If you grew up with dysfunctional people you have to learn what to say to get by.You blow all caution to the wind , give up all your values just so you learn to react based on what someone wants and you move on. Complain and you might be in big trouble .So what is owning how to get people to treat us? Do you have to look like movie star? Or do you have to lock into their believe or value system? Or be good actors? Sometimes I do believe you have to evolve to where they are. This doesn’t mean this is good. This just means in order to survive learn to play the games people want played. If it was just about about reality or love and good values then we would have no need to teach people anything. Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Yep reality is bitch. Who do I forgive first? The drug pushers, the stock ceos and mms who take or took 10 trillion? , the muslims and Un that makes nazims presentable, the parents that are not there for their kids?, the criminals that make going out scary often enough, where you can’t leave your doors open or trust anyone? I am sorry , there ok? Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn. 10. there you go , I believe yo have to name it before you can claim it and therein lies the big percent of worlds problems, cause they are in denial. The problem we would havethough first , is to name 1000s of things we haven’t named , just before we had a chance to all decide to do the right things to correct them. This is, to be clear, copyrighted material written by Dr. Phil McGraw in a
Response:
This came from a pop-psych guy who I am not OVERLY fond of, however I do like the list, and thought I’d share it. Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t. Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.
1. sounds good but gets what? Is that like saying you either decide to live or die? Life Law #2: You create your own experience Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life.
2.That also sounds good except if your brain is devoid of good serotonin or natural endorphin levels , you feel left out of the world, you were a victim of abuse or you experienced life altering experiences . Sure you can learn to get past it but if your suppose to just be responsible and your not sure how or what to change it will never happen successfully. Period.Psychology tests have shown some of what I just stated to be true Life Law #3: People do what works Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of
others. 3.Sometimes what works is doing what parents or street gang did and unfortunately what works doesn’t mean its a successful .People may get what they want by bullying or lying to others and they might be supported and it might work but it don’t mean its right. Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life AND everybody in it.
4. Well I think this is the fist life law I accept except even though for many people don’t have a clue what to acknowledge. Life Law #5: Life rewards action Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger.
5.Life also penalizes action. If you have money to invest in stocks . pulling the trigger might make you broke. What quantitifies careful decisions if what someone does, circumstents all your decisions (bad ceos bad family or friends) So I am not sure of this either.. People make decisions based on their own prejudiced experiences. They may not know any better. Life in Us is not always about telling small people what to do, rather we are suppose to witness the freedom to make mistakes and be successful thru watching tv or reading papers. . We are somehow suppose to assume people who are not around success to make the right decisions and that simply might not happen. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – the rest later Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. Life Law #7: Life is managed, it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you. Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn. This is, to be clear, copyrighted material written by Dr. Phil McGraw in a book which I don’t even remember the name of. I do remember that this list impressed me more than any of the rest of the book. I’m a little skeptical of law #3, only because I bear witness (so often) to people doing what doesn’t work…however he was probably trying to make a point about secondary gains or something. Number 4, 7 and 9 are my personal favorites.
Response:
This came from a pop-psych guy who I am not OVERLY fond of, however I do like the list, and thought I’d share it.
I’m not so sure about these formulas that these gurus and whatnots come up with. I suppose we just have to pick and choose what works for us. Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t. Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.
What does this mean exactly? How does one become one who gets it? Isn’t that what we’re all trying to do with varying degrees of success? Life Law #2: You create your own experience Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life.
I agree with this one. And I admit I have an issue with taking responsibility. Life Law #3: People do what works Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.
Yes, we should do what works. That’s the only measure of anything I suppose. Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life AND everybody in it.
Again, the responsibility thing. Life Law #5: Life rewards action Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger.
Umm, this is a difficult one for me personally. I’m afraid of doing things for fear of things not working out. Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world.
Is this really true? That there is no reality, only perception? This seems like a really serious metaphysical topic. This is no easy topic to discuss. Life Law #7: Life is managed, it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life
Interesting. That life is managed and not cured, what does that imply? I shouldn’t expect to one day have a care-free life. Instead I need to be aware that my life will need "managing" right the way through? Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you.
I have no idea about this one. I don’t know what I reasonably can expect from people. And I certainly don’t know what I’m going to teach them. Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.
Forgiveness isn’t easy. And I have NO idea how to do it. Asking someone to forgive is like asking a blind person to see. I can see my anger and resentment are hurting me but I can’t just turn it off. Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.
Yes, getting clear about things is important. Kinda difficult though when one’s in continuous anxiety. What does he mean by "taking your turn"? This is, to be clear, copyrighted material written by Dr. Phil McGraw in a book which I don’t even remember the name of. I do remember that this list impressed me more than any of the rest of the book. I’m a little skeptical of law #3, only because I bear witness (so often) to people doing what doesn’t work…however he was probably trying to make a point about secondary gains or something. Number 4, 7 and 9 are my personal favorites.
I like 2,4,7 and 9. I don’t understand 3 so well. Jan
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This came from a pop-psych guy who I am not OVERLY fond of, however I do like the list, and thought I’d share it. Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t. Strategy: Become one of those who gets it. 1. sounds good but gets what? Is that like saying you either decide to live or die? Life Law #2: You create your own experience Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. 2.That also sounds good except if your brain is devoid of good serotonin or natural endorphin levels , you feel left out of the world, you were a victim of abuse or you experienced life altering experiences . Sure you can learn to get past it but if your suppose to just be responsible and your not sure how or what to change it will never happen successfully. Period.Psychology tests have shown some of what I just stated to be true Life Law #3: People do what works Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others. 3.Sometimes what works is doing what parents or street gang did and unfortunately what works doesn’t mean its a successful .People may get what they want by bullying or lying to others and they might be supported and it might work but it don’t mean its right. Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life AND everybody in it. 4. Well I think this is the fist life law I accept except even though for many people don’t have a clue what to acknowledge. Life Law #5: Life rewards action Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. 5.Life also penalizes action. If you have money to invest in stocks . pulling the trigger might make you broke. What quantitifies careful decisions if what someone does, circumstents all your decisions (bad ceos bad family or friends) So I am not sure of this either.. People make decisions based on their own prejudiced experiences. They may not know any better. Life in Us is not always about telling small people what to do, rather we are suppose to witness the freedom to make mistakes and be successful thru watching tv or reading papers. . We are somehow suppose to assume people who are not around success to make the right decisions and that simply might not happen. the rest later Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world.
6. What happened to get real with your life number four? What filters are that? The glucose filters that make one want to eat and sleep instead of face reality? Or the reality filters. : people mean, stocks are fixed, if you want to exercise and the air is dirty? Many people are in act out mode,lying faster drivers, crime, mental illness, this is often hell on earth , top one percent getting more and more of nations wealth. Un rationalizes hate. Now do I need my optimistic filter? That filter says ignore the rest. I can do that for awhile also. 99 percent of the worlds problems are because people dont treat each other like they would want to be treated. So is reality perception or perception reality or is it amount of endorphins we have or don’t have., amounts of adrenlin we have or don’t have? Life Law #7: Life is managed, it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life
AGREED I guess, no matter how, if your living and an adult you are taking charge. The only way your not taking charge is if your locked up or committed. OR your in DENIAL .. Hello? ? ? Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you.
8.To some extent I believe that. This gets back to perceptions. If you grew up with dysfunctional people you have to learn what to say to get by.You blow all caution to the wind , give up all your values just so you learn to react based on what someone wants and you move on. Complain and you might be in big trouble .So what is owning how to get people to treat us? Do you have to look like movie star? Or do you have to lock into their believe or value system? Or be good actors? Sometimes I do believe you have to evolve to where they are. This doesn’t mean this is good. This just means in order to survive learn to play the games people want played. If it was just about about reality or love and good values then we would have no need to teach people anything. Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.
Yep reality is bitch. Who do I forgive first? The drug pushers, the stock ceos and mms who take or took 10 trillion? , the muslims and Un that makes nazims presentable, the parents that are not there for their kids?, the criminals that make going out scary often enough, where you can’t leave your doors open or trust anyone? I am sorry , there ok? Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.
10. there you go , I believe yo have to name it before you can claim it and therein lies the big percent of worlds problems, cause they are in denial. The problem we would havethough first , is to name 1000s of things we haven’t named , just before we had a chance to all decide to do the right things to correct them. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This is, to be clear, copyrighted material written by Dr. Phil McGraw in a
Response:
This came from a pop-psych guy who I am not OVERLY fond of, however I do like the list, and thought I’d share it. Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t. Strategy: Become one of those who gets it. Life Law #2: You create your own experience Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. Life Law #3: People do what works Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others. Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life AND everybody in it. Life Law #5: Life rewards action Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. Life Law #7: Life is managed, it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you. Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn. This is, to be clear, copyrighted material written by Dr. Phil McGraw in a book which I don’t even remember the name of. I do remember that this list impressed me more than any of the rest of the book. I’m a little skeptical of law #3, only because I bear witness (so often) to people doing what doesn’t work…however he was probably trying to make a point about secondary gains or something. Number 4, 7 and 9 are my personal favorites.
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I like all of em…….thanks for posting.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This came from a pop-psych guy who I am not OVERLY fond of, however I do like the list, and thought I’d share it. Life Law #1: You either get it, or you don’t. Strategy: Become one of those who gets it. Life Law #2: You create your own experience Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. Life Law #3: People do what works Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others. Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life AND everybody in it. Life Law #5: Life rewards action Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. Life Law #7: Life is managed, it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us Strategy: Own, rather than complain, about how people treat you. Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn. This is, to be clear, copyrighted material written by Dr. Phil McGraw in a book which I don’t even remember the name of. I do remember that this list impressed me more than any of the rest of the book. I’m a little skeptical of law #3, only because I bear witness (so often) to people doing what doesn’t work…however he was probably trying to make a point about secondary gains or something. Number 4, 7 and 9 are my personal favorites.
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Thanks again for the help.